Spreading my wings

When I was younger I never imagined or even thought about moving out of my house. I was always attached to my parents no matter where we were and how old I was. I guess that is why it was and still is pretty hard for me to take in that I have not only moved out of my parents house but also away from town, exactly 6-8 hours away.
Never imagining me moving away from my parents was hard enough, so imagine after I felt once I graduated high school and was off to college. It was a tough one.

Controversy opinion

According to director Ian Cheney, “There are controversy over whether more light leads to less crime, but there is agreement that light seems to make people feel safer, almost like it’s built into our genes to move closer to the campfire or to the brightest city” (City Dark). After watching this documentary and listening to all the different affects lights/light pollution does to our environment and society, I can agree and disagree with Cheney’s statement.

On the matter of more light leading to less crime, well..I don’t quite agree with that statement. Crime does not really have a best time of the day to do it. Yes, it mostly takes place during the night or dark situations but it also takes place during the day when there is light or even at night when there are also lights surrounding the house neighborhood and everywhere else. I honestly don't believe light leads to less crime. Regardless of what time of the day or night it is, crime will happen with or without light.
On the other hand, I do agree that light makes one feel safer. It gives one that warmth and safe feeling. It makes me feel safer because I hate the dark and I don't know what to expect. It frightens me not to know what is surrounding me.

Sea Turtles and Light Pollution

Cheney says, “Every summer tens of thousands of [Florida sea] turtles, already a threatened species, are lost to disorientation” (City Dark). Why and how is this happening? All I have to say is light pollution. Light pollution for many who do not know is the leading fact of having, being surrounded my tons of unpleasant light making it impossible to see the stars in the night sky but also degrades natural light levels making it harder to see things, not only for humans but for animals as well.

Light pollution is the cause of this poor and sad truth about sea turtles. Because of the fact that many, well mostly all of Florida’s biggest and most populated cities are near beaches that means more light surrounding and illuminating near these beaches. When these sea turtles are born they use the moons light/reflection to guide them into the water and go on and live their life but with all these big light towers and cities made up of bright lights, they misguide them. The lights from the city trick these poor small creatures to think it is the moon and guides them away from the beach instead of into the water causing/leading them into their own death. Thousands of new born sea turtles die because of this.

Sea turtles are not the only animals affected/mislead by the light, but also birds. Birds living in big cities are blinded from the light surrounding them making it harder for them to see, even during the day causing them to run into building causing them to fall from the sky and injure themselves. Thousands of birds from many different species are killed because of this. All this light pollution is extremely crucial to animals, that is why we should try to find some solutions to solving this.

We, as in the whole entire world should not use as much light as we do. Most of the light that we use up is so unnecessary. Especially buildings and towers with extremely bright and colorful lights, for example Los Vegas. Los Vegas has way TOO much light, light that they don’t really need but just use it as fashion and attraction. We could also turn off all our lights at night, well mostly. If we use less light during the night, the more likely we will be able to see the stars in the sky. Buildings that leave their lights on during the night for no reason should definitely turn them off. That is unnecessary light they are consuming, it is pointless. With these solutions and many more, one can eventually help our environment and these poor animals.

Graduation Night



My high school graduation ceremony

at Boggus Stadium, Harlingen,Tx.



It was one o'clock in the morning, May 26, 2012, the night of my high school graduation. The night was still young, my friends; Armold, Larissa, Vida, Alfred, Sarah, David and I we were on our way to our condo at the beach in South Padre Island after leaving our graduation lock-in party. Everyone was headed that way, it was our mini paradise where we could escape to and just relax and have fun with our friends, it was out second home. It was a forty-five minute drive from Harlingen to the island, so we practically arrived at the condo/beach house around 1:45-ish or a bit later because of all the traffic headed that way. Everything surrounding our condo was pitch black, the fact that it was just outside of the city, it was the border line to exit the city and then go off to the beach accesses. It was so peaceful and relaxing to be out there, the summer night, fresh graduates. We hopped out of the car and did not even bother going into the house. We all walked straight to the backyard, where we could hear the waves clashing against each other and the ground in front of us. We would usually just build a bonfire but that night was different. There was a different vibe in the air, a bittersweet vibe and the moon wasn't helping at all. It felt like we were in a movie because of how beautiful the moon illuminated the sky and water in front of us. The glare of the moon reflected on the water, it was crying beautiful.



Beach at South Padre Island, Tx during the day.



I walked inside the house to grab a blanket to lay on the ground. I laid it down on the ground, sat there for a second or two just taking in that salt water air and laid down. I did not notice that there were so many stars out that night. Each one had their own type of brightness, others not as bright all the rest but still quite beautiful. They were just so mesmerizing to take my eyes off, but just gazing up into the sky triggered so many thoughts and questions in my head. Questions about the universe, Earth, other countries and people, and also my future.

The thought of Earth just being one out of the billions of other planets, galaxies, and universes just blew my mind. I felt like a ant in a HUGE and never ending hole, a world, universe, galaxy full of darkness and mystery. I wondered if people from other countries where doing the same as I was or at one point have just laid under the stars and wondered off. I even wondered if human beings from the prehistoric era did this, maybe think about other things but at least laid under the stars and get lost into thought. I never understood constellations, so all I ever found in the night sky were triangles or three stars always next to each other, but then again maybe I just kept looking at the same stars over and over again. Hmm, but I still don't see how others can point out figures like animals and objects. Even when I try to connect the dots/stars weird figures come out or nothing at all come out. Questions about my future and about the future came about. Where would I be in a couple of years? School? Have my career? How would society have changed? What new technology, studies, discoveries? The sky and stars just mesmerize me each time I look up. I get lost in its beauty.

Compared to the sky here in Baytown to Harlingen and South Padre Island is extremely different. I can see the stars here in Baytown but not as many as one can see in Harlingen and South Padre island. Because of the fact that over there is in the country and there are not big cities surrounding, well not as close to each other, the light pollution isn't as bad and makes the sky and stars more visible. Since Houston and all these other cities surrounding Baytown the light pollution is pretty bad. My graduation night is when I noticed how beautiful and gorgeous the stars were over there. There were so many and so bright, never experienced something as beautiful as that night.




The night sky in South Padre Island, Tx. (better in person)





Depression vs.Humor

So many poems, so many different authors, stories, feelings, meanings but yet they are all similar to one another in various ways. Each poem/author tells their own stories; some having similar themes, morals, using same type of rhetorical devices and emotions. Yet there are others that can be compared by what is occurring, different tone, point of view, and or anything stating the opposite of the other poem. Out of the many poems in this book, two poems that caught my attention and thought about a lot were, “Ever After” by Joyce Sutphen and “What I Want” by George Bilgere.

These two very interesting poems may have very distinctive titles but they both express their feelings over heartache, a recent break up and how they express it. My first impressions to both poems, from just reading their title were totally different to what I thought. Reading the title “Ever After,” I thought of happiness, fairy tales, love and romance, basically someone being extremely happy to be with the one they love for the rest of their lives but it is exactly the opposite of what I thought. Joyce Sutphen’s poem was not a fairy tale princess romance, it was nothing at all like it.  Now my first impression for “What I Want,” well honestly I did not have a first impression about it. I did not have a clue of what it was about, I was clueless.

In the poem, “Ever After,” the narrator is a female going through a divorce with her husband. She uses rhetorical questions questioning, asking him, “What am I to you now that you are no / longer what you used to be to me,” (Sutphen 1-2) showing that an event had to happen, giving the reader a sense that there is a break up involved. She continues to ask questions as of who they are to each other now (3), making it official that they separated. She uses the words, “Now,” “divided,” “me and you,” “two separate,” “ex-,” “once,” “yours and mine,” giving huge clues showing that there is a divorce occurring. She uses these words to express to her audience that they were once one, and now they are two different and separate individuals. Also using imagery to express a flashback of the day of their wedding, “..with our hands (yours,mine) clasped on the knife / that was sinking into the tall white cake” (12-13), giving a clear image to her audience/readers of them cutting their cake. Her tone from that quote gave me a impression of her going back to when they were happy and now she is devastated and heartbroken. She does not hate him, but she is broken.

George Bilgere poem, “What I Want,” was a bit more out there. The narrator, a man makes it obvious he just went through a break up/divorce, compared to “Ever After.” He is not devastated about it at all, he is more happy and makes his poem quite humorous. “I would like for my ex-wife to get leprosy,” (Bilgere 14), “I want to wake up in London on a spring morning / And read in the paper that my ex-wife / Has received a lethal injection, courtesy of the state / Of Ohio.. “ (59-62), his way to portray his humor in this poem is quite mean and hurtful but yet it is extremely funny to his audience because he just throws it out there. He repeats himself throughout the poem stating,” I want...” showing he wants many things. He wants bad things to happen to his ex-wife, he wants to travel, “Rocky Mountains” (6), “Denver” (10),  “London” (59), “Madrid” (71), naming various places he wants to go and explore, but not alone. Each place the narrator wants to travel to naming various women he wants to go with, stating different ones every place he names, showing how he does not plan going by himself. He talks about “sex,” (39) and how he wants other women, maybe naming those from his past, expects to meet many more in his present and his future. His tone throughout his poem is humorous, secretly heartbroken, angry and depressing. He is heartbroken and depressed but tries to hide it through his thoughts and humor, angry at his wife about their separation but still loved her, but still wishing those things to happen to her.

“What I Want,” was much more extreme and wicked compared to “Ever After.” “Ever After,” was much more sentimental because of the fact that the narrator, being a woman, does not hide what she feels. She writes away her feelings through paper and gives the reader that kind of emotion she is feeling. From that being said, that is why these two poems were perfect to compare to one another.

“Slowly”

“…the rabbit stiff, nose in, bits of litter stuck to its fur / its head clenched in the side / jaws of the snake, the snake / sucking it down its long throat” (Masini 3-6). After reading this quote from Donna Masini’s poem “Slowly” it brought chills to my entire body. This poem was so disturbing, confusing and completely bothering to me because of all the details that she gives. Maybe also because my BIGGEST phobia is snakes and this poem is about a snake eating a rabbit.

This poem was quite confusing to me; I couldn’t really fill in the puzzle pieces and understand it too well. What I did understand and get from the first read of this poem was that the author is talking about how she remembers going on a field trip to the zoo with her class and watching a rabbit being devoured by a snake. She gives every detail to how the rabbit is being eaten by the snake, “I didn’t know why / the snake didn’t choke, the rabbit never / moved, how the jaws kept opening / wider, sucking it down...” (19-22).

The fact that in the poem she states how her teacher told her and the rest of the girls to move along, to view another animal but couldn’t because they were mesmerized from what they were seeing. “(all the girls, groaning, shrieking / but weren’t we amazed, fascinated, / saying we couldn’t look, but looking weren’t we / imagining – what were we imagining?). / Mrs. Peterson urged us to move on girls, but we couldn’t move” (11-17). This is where questions started boiling in my head. Why was the author thinking they were imagining it? Why was she asking what they were imagining if they were not imagining it. The girls were there in person, watching the snake eat the rabbit. Did the author maybe ask this because they were so fascinated at the most disturbing and gross action ever that they could have been imaging something else to keep them interested in watching? As if they had set their minds to imagine something other than that to stay and look and watch it continue swallowing it. Also, what caught my attention was how the author italicized “move on girls”. Was she mimicking her teacher, Mrs. Peterson? Reading that line again, maybe the author was mimicking her. But what really threw me over board with confusion and I did not understand was the last couple of lines in her poem, “..just so / I am taking this in, slowly, / taking it into my body: / this grief. How slow / the body is to realize. / You are never coming back” (22-27). Why is she saying “I,” referring to her? Why did she say taking it in her body when it is the snake that is. How she goes from the snake to her, then to her being the snake? So many questions to what I didn’t understand the first time I read this poem.

Now looking back at this poem and analyzing it better, the author is realizing how slow it is to know one day one is never coming back. From rereading it several times, I took and I think someone close to the author, a family member or even a friend of hers may have passed away and she is saying it is hard to take it in, to take in that that person is never coming back. One slowly takes it in, taking the pain and grief into their mind, heart and body that they are gone. By grief I mean to know that person is in a better place but yet not wanting to believe, slowly taking it in that it is a bye. Using the snake eating the rabbit as a perfect example but yet very disturbing of how slow it is to take in a situation like that.

Very Similar, Yet Very Different

Billy Collins “180 More: Extraordinary Poems for Every Day” has such a variety of poems that address many different subjects and themes. There are so many poems that have similar or the same themes/subjects that involve: Romance/love, betrayal, death, mortality, food, art and also parent-child relationships. Two poems to which I thought were similar because of the fact they are both over parent-child relationships, were “The Clasp” by Sharon Olds and “What I Do” by Douglas Goetsch. These two poems had a very similar theme/subject as one another but yet very different to one. These to poems may both be pertaining to a parent-child relationship but they both have very distinct things and feelings going on.

 In Sharon Olds, “The Clasp” I at first took from this poem was that she was just getting her daughter in trouble for trying to push her younger brother over on his face. She states how she punished her and how she felt about doing it, “I grabbed her to keep her from shoving him over on his face, again, and when I had her wrist in my grasp I compressed it, fiercely, for almost a second, to make an impression on her, to hurt her, our beloved firstborn, I even nearly savored the stinging sensation of the squeezing…” (Olds 3-8). The quote clearly explains how the author punished her daughter, by grabbing her wrist and squeezing it until it hurt her. She also mentions in the quote how she “nearly savored the stinging sensation,” meaning she basically liked hurting her, not what a mother would ever say about hurting/punishing their child. She uses the word “again” as if it wasn’t the first time her daughter tries to do this or perhaps it isn’t the first time she tries to. “Grab, crush, crush, crush, release – and at the first extra force, she swung her head” (12-14). Every time the poet said “crush” meant how much harder she would tighten her grasp around her daughters wrist until it hurt her and it caught her attention making her have a quick reaction to it. She states how deeply impacted her daughter was in shock to believe her mother would ever grab and hurt her like this, basically questioning what kind of love or what/why she was doing this to her, opening her eyes and making her realize what she did was wrong. After reading this poem over again several times, I came to the conclusion that the daughter may have been jealous of her little brother, trying to kill him perhaps or hurt him by rolling him over onto his face, and how her mother feels some sort of pleasure of hurting her, and why and what sort of love is this that she is hurting her. In this poem, the mothers clasp interprets the anger, irritated, pleasurable fact of hurting and squeezing her daughters’ wrist. It is kind of dark, hurtful, a bit of jealousy, love, lesson-learned poem.

“What I Do,” by Douglas Goetschs poem is quiet confusing at first and still is quite a bit. The poem is about the author and his father’s relationship, parent-child relationship, specifically father-son relationship. “Maybe he felt powerful, or just responsible, signing those checks, sitting hours at his desk, slumped, his big back to me and the rest of the house” (Goetsch 11-15).  The author states this to show how his father was so emerged into his work, paying bills and what not that he does not put/make any time to spend with him nor the rest of his family. His father only had him bring him coffee while getting burned, cleaning out his ashtray and shine his shoes (11-20). From what I understood from the poem was that the author and his father were distant from each other, they had no communication nor showed love for each other whatsoever. The author states how he put his hand into his father’s shoe to shine them, he made a fist and put it in, and that’s not how one usually puts their hand in a shoe. I interpreted that statement as he was angry and upset at his father. He states how now reaching his father’s age he now understands him, and how he sees the exact same image of his father as he looks into the mirror. Realizing he is becoming or slowly becoming his father and afraid to be like him.

“The Clasp” and “What I Do” are alike but yet very different from one another. One is in a male voice and the other in a female. Each one expressing what type of parent-child relation they have and what is happening. “What I Do” approaches his theme by remembering how his relationship with his father was and how he is slowly turning into his father, afraid of that transformation? On the other hand, “The Clasp” shows how she loves her daughter but yet liked the sensation of hurting her while punishing her for doing something that was wrong. They both interpret their own meaning of the type of relationship they have with their child or parent, making them similar but yet extremely different.

"Ever After" by Joyce Sutphen

“Ever After” by Joyce Sutphen had me questioning her poem the entire time. It had me confused, emotional, sad, and heartbroken in the beginning and just wondering what was going on. This poem aroused curiosity and also intrigued me to write about it was of the fact that her poem is so depressing in the beginning and then in the end it is a happily ever after moment. It had me thinking, did they break up or did they get married? I also had me thinking as if it was some kind of form of princess fairy tale story/poem.

In her poem she states repeatedly, “what am I to you now..” which personally had me thinking her and perhaps a boyfriend went their different ways. As I continue reading this poem, in every stanza she states her and her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend as two different people, not as us or we, but you and me. And what also had me thinking this idea of them separating was after reading stanza four which states, “Unrelated persons except for that ex- that goes in front of the words.” This stanza using the term “EX” and how the author implies it and states it in her sentence/stanza gave me a confirmation of them splitting but then once again my thought of the meaning of this poem completely changed as I continued.

As I thought I had figured out what was happening in this poem, that thought was changed once more. Continuing my reading the author states the words husband, wife, our hands clasped, and tall white cake, throwing me off into a whole different train of thought. I had no idea what was going on in this poem, until it hit me. Perhaps the author was implying her and her boyfriend as two different people in the beginning to show readers how that “me” and “you” are joining together, giving each other a whole different title to one another, husband and wife. “Our hands clasped” referring to them cutting that “tall white cake” implies that this couple just married and are cutting their cake to share and give out to those who want a piece.

What came to my conclusion is that maybe the author in the beginning of the poem was asking all those questions of who are they to each other and what is she to him, questioning him basically asking him if she still as important as she was before or am I more? What are they to each other, husband and wife, two separate individuals? Her starting out her poem this way confusing the readers but then coming to an ending of them having that husband-wife title, cutting their cake and having the ever after as one.

Stitches

From page one; Stitches had me on my feet wanting to read more and more. David's intense lifetime story all put into these graphic drawings/photos. Each photo portraying their own emotions and definition; anger, confusion, loneliness, sadness and many more. That is what I loved about this book, all the deep emotional graphics.

In this novel, David does not just put his emotions through text but through his graphics also. He uses more graphics than actual text in the book. The characters facials, eyes, and actions all demonstrate a different type of emotion. They portray what and how they feel. Many times throughout the book he focuses/zooms in on the characters eyes and facial expressions. The photos giving and showing many different emotions going on. In the many graphics that focus on the characters eyes, it shows the glossiness in them in which to many it could have various definitions of emotions. Their facials give the reader that sense of intensity because of the fact they are so out there that it seems the character itself is angry with the reader. Every picture gives out that sense of emotion being felt.

The structure he uses throughout the book of how he can have two or three text in one page and then have about ten pages full of graphics just portraying everything going on. Not only did all these graphics show emotion but they also described each and every character. He does not use long detailed sentences to describe and explain their physical appearance, mood and personality, he uses very detailed graphics. These graphics helping the reader comprehend what is going on in the book.

David uses graphics to portray his life, everything he went through and every emotion he felt all into graphics. His graphics told his story, they gave his book life. A roller coaster full of emotions and mystery. The graphics were meant to tell the story in a deeper more intense and visual way. Without these graphics there would not be a story of a young boy who his dad gave him cancer, his grandmother being a complete lunatic and his mother neglecting him and mistreating him to find out all her mysterious secrets she kept. Without these graphics it would be extremely difficult to understand and feel what David went through. Pictures are worth a million words.

Imagination

"The world of reality has its limits, but the world of imagination is boundless." This is exactly what David does, he escapes from everything happening in reality and wonders away into another world full of his imagination. But David is not the only child to ever escape into their imagination, I did so and continue to.

"Kay run, the shark is behind you!" Are the words I heard as I ran around the playground trying to climb up the slide to get away form Andy who was "The Shark." Every day foor recess all of us munchkins, second graders, would play our favorite game "Shark." We would imagine our school playground being an island stuck in the middle of nowhere and we were all stuck there, surrounded by the everlasting view of nothing but water. In the surrounding water there were groups of sharks waiting for their next meal to be served, and in this instance, Andy was that starving shark waiting.

With 21 students, including me, running around like maniacs teasing him, where he chase after us until he had caught us or made it safe on the top of the playground, the island. I at the moment was on the island, safe with several other students, when I see "The Shark" eat/tag my best friend, making her the next and new "Shark." I stayed on the island a few more minutes then jumped back down into the water, ready to run. As soon as I was on the ground (water) the teacher calling us in telling us recess was over, meaning our game was over. Whoever was "The Shark" before the teacher called us in, continues to be "The Shark" in the next game until he/she tags their next victim.

Our recess time consisted of this and sometimes other games our crazy imagination had created and imagined. For me, imagination not only created childhood games, but it also gave me a fun, exploring, life learning childhood. Even growning up and becoming an adult. I still use my imagination to dream away, maybe not in the same way as when I was younger but I still do so.It taught me to imagine and dream on, no matter what situation I am stuck in, that is my way out and just wonder away. Imagination goes far beyond reality it helps build character, adventure, dreams, hope and faith. It inspires, takes one to the stars and beyond that, because it is the one thing no one can ever take away from one, well me. I grew up with a wild imagination and it still ocntinues to grow as i become older and always will.

"The Sushi Killer"

One of the most memorable and unforgettable childhood memories is of my little brother and how he managed to brake our aquarium with his hot wheel cars. I was about 8 and he was about 3 or 4 years old at the time. I was in the living room watching tv and the aquarium was in the kitchen, visible to see it from where I was sitting. And that is when his little idea came about.
Being able to catch every single movement going on, he began to push one of the kitchen chairs closer and closer to the aquarium until it was finally in front of it. Climbing onto the chair, reaching the top, he just stood there and began to bang his hot wheel car on the glass. He kept banging on the glass continuously until finally, it had cracked. He had managed to brake a small hole into the glass and water began to gush out at him. He stood there as if he had become paralyzed, just letting the water hit his face not making any effort to stop or even move away from the water. Instead he just stayed there and began to shake his head. For some reason I began to laugh histerically because of the fact he was basically drowning while standing. My parents eventually heard all the noise and came running to the living room, taking him down from the chair, holding in their laughter. It was a priceless moment, especially when one of our gold fish shot out and hit him in the face, killing the poor fish.
I love and cherish this memory so much because of the fact when I remind my brother about it, we both laugh about it. He has actually nicknamed himself, "The Sushi Killer." When I am upset, this memory lifts up my mood and makes me feel much better.